Kids' Recreational Sports Leagues

So here in the 'burbs, there can be a lot of social pressure to spend money in ways we don't need or want to.  I promised I'd share some real life examples.  Here is one that I constantly find frustrating.  It comes in the context of the recreational sports leagues we sign our kids up for.

Let me back up by saying that my husband and I were never jocks.  But we appreciate the role of athletics in helping kids to grow and learn.  Beyond giving them exercise to be healthy, organized sports teaches them all kinds of great lessons.  Team work.  Perseverance.  Setting goals.  Leadership.  Hard work.  Slow improvement over time.  Empathy.  Respect for others.  For these and other reasons, we have long had our kids in community sports programs for soccer, basketball, volleyball and swimming. 

The cost is typically not that bad because they are run by the cities where we've lived and we get a resident discount.  For the most part, these have been great experiences.  Our kids have learned a lot each time. 

But there are hidden costs in many cases.  Most are socially instigated by other parents.  Let me share some examples.  If you are a parent, this may be familiar to you.

(1) Team Photos.  As I was never in organized sports as a kid, this one caught me off-guard.  But every single team my kids have been on has had a designated picture day.  We all have to get to the field or pool an hour or more early to wait around and then get our picture taken.  There are typically group and individual photos.  The first few times we ordered a modest package of photos.  We did this for two main reasons.  First, we had more income in those days and it wasn't that big a deal to us.  Second, everyone else was doing it and we didn't want to look cheap.  Note that neither reason involved wanting the darned pictures.  We can take our own darn pictures, thank you very much.  I never like cheesy, staged photos anyhow. 

But one year, during the height of the Great Recession, I noticed a single mom of one of my daughter's teammates was holding her kid back, he was the only one on the team not participating in photos.  From some basic stuff the mom had previously shared, it didn't take a genius to figure out they didn't have a lot of money.  Professional photos from the soccer season weren't in the budget.  I felt profoundly sad that that mom and her child seemed to be embarrassed to be the odd ones out and their lack of funds was the cause of that.  That was the last time we ordered the photos from one of my kids' sports teams. 

We still always dutifully show up for the team photo, but we don't take the individual photos.  We could afford them.  But there are always opportunity costs with every purchase.  There are other things I'd rather do with our money than buy overpriced, staged photos. 

And normally I am second to none in my admiration and support of small businesses.  But I take exception when it comes to the professional photographers that take these team pictures.  All the parents feel guilted into buying a package.  It is an extortive way to make a living and doesn't provide much (if any) social good.

(2) Snacks.  I don't know if it has always been this way, but ever since my kids began participating in organized sports, there is an unwritten rule that the kids must be rewarded with a snack after the game.  Heck, sometimes, the unwritten rule says they also get one at half time!  The only exception seems to be swim team.  But that is probably only because food is not allowed by the pool.

Occasionally a coach will strongly recommend that the snacks be fresh fruit.  But usually the parents buy whatever they want and the snacks are highly processed, high in sugar and/or fat.  The kids get cookies, potato chips, snack bars, etc. to eat.  Along with sugary punch or sports drinks. 

We live in a hot climate, so I'm down with orange wedges or grapes at half time.  But anything else, I find wasteful and counterproductive.  There is a childhood obesity epidemic.  A lot of the kids on the sports teams are a bit pudgy. Occasionally a teammate is obese and has trouble even participating. 

In light of the reality, I don't know why we insist in filling kids with empty calories after they just burned some off.  And the snacks are typically processed and sold in wasteful packaging.  Just one team's post-game snack creates a lot of trash, most of it not even recyclable. 

But this is one modern tradition that I cannot get out of gracefully.  Everyone is expected to sign up to bring snack at least one game of the season.  So, I grin and bear it.  And I at least try to watch sales and get the most economical snacks I can find.

(3) Coach's Gift.  Towards the end of the season, invariably some parent takes it upon him/herself to organize a taking up of money to buy the coach a gift.  Our family tends to like to bake some homemade cookies for our kids' coaches as a more personal, less expensive gift.  Sometimes that works to gracefully get out of the group gift.  And other times, the coach has been so exceptional and the suggested donation is low enough that we chip in.  But often, the organizing parent has a particular item in mind and it is premised upon everyone chipping in a fixed amount that is higher that my husband and I think appropriate. 

It is not that we are ungrateful, far from it.  Volunteer coaches have one of their own kids on the team.  They don't volunteer to get a trophy or plaque or gift card.   I think we should always show our heartfelt appreciation for those who volunteer their time for the good of the community.  But I resent pushy parents telling others they "have" to kick in a certain amount to buy the coach a meaningless piece of junk he/she is likely going to throw in a neglected corner of his/her garage (or in his/her garbage can) before long. 

Indeed, this whole tradition is part of a wider modern phenomenon of gift giving that I find toxic.  Holidays have been distorted and others have been invented just to promote gift giving.  We are now always giving people gifts to the point that the act loses its significance.  Moreover, some come to view them as an entitlement.  Someone recently asked me, "What did your family give you for Mother's Day?"  I wasn't sure how to answer, we don't give gifts at all holidays like that.  My kids and I instead volunteered to cook a special meal for some homeless families at our church.  It was a glorious day.  Our project and the time with my kids made me very happy.

(4) Trophies.  So many people these days mock the current generation of kids and young adults because they are being raised or were raised in a culture where prizes have become meaningless.  Everyone gets a prize for showing up.  The modern mindset is that to distinguish some as better than others would hurt some kids' feelings, so everyone gets a science fair ribbon or a sports trophy.  I have a lot of sympathy for those who are disgusted with this modern approach.  But I can tell you that here in the trenches, it is mighty hard to buck this trend. 

My oldest daughter has been participating in organized sports for 7 years now.  We have an entire shelf in our home library just covered with trophies from all the teams she has been on.  She is no Mia Hamm or Brittney Griner.  She tries her best and has improved over the years.  But we're not betting on a sports scholarship for college.  Yet she has more sports trophies than we can store.  Each one was something that every player in the whole league got for just showing up.  On the last day of each season, the league organizers have to lug boxes of the darned things to the games. 

Alternately, some leagues don't provide the trophy, but invariably some parent takes it upon him/herself to organize the purchase of trophies for everyone.  My husband and I always try to resist.  It is hard because invariably we are the ONLY family not chomping at the bit to buy another trophy, and typically there is a group discount that no one gets unless 100% of the players buy a trophy. 

This season we had an experience that really blew my mind.  The parent organizing the trophies for one of my daughter's soccer team asked at the beginning of the season if parents were interested in buying one to be handed out at the last game.  My husband and I politely and immediately flagged we would not be interested.  The organizing parent thanked us for our response, but then asked a number of other times to make sure since we were apparently the only family on the entire team declining to purchase the trophy.  I explained how we already had a ton of them from all the seasons our daughter had played sports and frankly we were out of room.  But this was not enough for this gentleman.  He ended up buying an engraved trophy with our daughter's name out of his own pocket so she wouldn't be the only one without a trophy at the end of season picnic, which we couldn't even attend since we had a prior commitment.  So we have the darned trophy anyhow!  And to make matters worse, it is so huge that it doesn't even fit on the shelf with all the others.  We've had to display it more prominently on a shelf with more space.  Oy, vey!

My other daughter played volleyball in a different league this season, and that league provided trophies for all players on the last day.  I was grateful to not have to deal with the issue of paying for the burden of another trophy.  However, I found it astounding that she and her teammates got a trophy because her team had a losing season.  And not by just a smidge.  Until the last day of the season, her team had not only not won a single match, they hadn't even won a single set!  They had lost miserably in straight sets week after week after week.  But in the current climate, the first place team and the last place team "earn" the same trophy. 

Not only do I find this a waste of resources and not a prudent way to raise kids, but I am just appalled at the environmental impact.  Nothing but parental guilt keeps us holding on to all these meaningless trophies.  But at some point, they will go in the trash--even if it is not until they move out of the house and it seems more socially acceptable to get rid of them.  My kids have tons of these trophies at this point.  Think of that multiplied by all the other kids who get these darned things nationwide.  What a huge landfill need that creates! 

Simply Sunday #14

Hi!  I hope you are having a FABULOUS Sunday.

Here is something I have done this week to simplify my life...

I cleaned out some kitchen cabinets! 

My husband had been using multiple shelves as a storage place for leftover party paraphernalia.  Plates, plastic utensils, paper napkins, birthday candles, etc.  Most emblazoned with Disney Princesses or Spiderman.  It was such a jumbled mess no one ever went near it. 

When you begin to embrace voluntary simplicity, you have to avoid the urge to hoard.  My husband and I are frugal and we hate to throw things out that may have use.  We don't want to waste money or consume more landfill space.  So we often hang on to things to use them up when others might throw them out.

That is not a bad habit.  It is in keeping with the concept of voluntary simplicity to use all resources wisely.  But you do not use them wisely if they are kept in a disorganized mess that everyone avoids!  Some semblance of organization is important to make sure you are storing for later use and not just occupying more space needlessly.

So I took some time this week to take down all the stuff my husband had kept on these shelves.  I went through it all, took out stuff that didn't really belong, and reorganized the stuff that was there.  I got the stuff down to just one shelf.  And now it is organized and ready for use. 

In fact, my husband is taking our girls on a father-kid camping trip through our church in about a month.  This stuff is going to be put to good use then.  He'll need a table cloth, napkins, plates and utensils.  It will make his life easier on the trip to use disposable stuff, and we already have these items on hand.  That is what I call a win-win.

Visiting

Our family has been traveling and visiting loved ones, so I have not had time to blog much recently.

This is going to sound weird but I love funerals and visiting for similar reasons.  I warned you this would sound weird, so let me explain. 

Certainly, I don't enjoy grief or seeing others in pain at the loss of someone they love.  Mourning is not the part of funerals I like.  But if you can get beyond that, I find funerals educational and encouraging.  I enjoy hearing about how the deceased person lived their life.  The rest of us in the room still have some time on this planet, though none of knows exactly how much.  We should make the best out of whatever time we have.  And hearing how someone else used their time is insightful to me and inspires me.  I always learn things that help me to be a better person.  For that reason, I appreciate funerals a great deal.  They force us to step back from our hectic lives to pause and reflect.  Is this really how we want to spend our limited time?  If not, what can we change?

Similarly, I enjoy visiting people.  Whether I go to someone's home for a few hours or for days, I enjoy seeing how people live their lives.  Again, I find that insightful and inspiring.

In our traveling, our family spent about a week at the home of some folks we love.  I have a couple things I learned from that experience:

(1) No one's home is perfect and the longer you live in it, the more likely you will realize this.  I don't mean for this to sound ugly, I don't intend it like that in the least.  Here's the back story.  I'm not the sort of woman who spends tons of time and effort on home décor.  I think that is interesting.  I like visually pleasing things as much as anyone.  But I guess, ultimately, that sort of thing is not my cup of tea.  There are other things I'd rather do with my time and money.  I'm more of a functional sort of home decorator.  I like to have interesting things decorating my home, but I'll never make the cover of Architectural Digest or even Cottage Living.  That is fine.  But sometimes I begin to feel insecure when I visit someone else's home and it just is so clean and hip looking.  It makes me feel like a slacker/slob/loser.  The home we were visiting was just amazing.  A historic home that had had interior updates to make it more functional and hipper.  On our first few days as guests, I felt like such a schlub.  Why didn't our family live in such a cool home?  How could our hostess keep it so spotless so effortlessly while we seem to constantly have dust and pet stains on our carpet?!  But the longer we spent in the house, I could begin to see the imperfections.  You don't notice a house's imperfections immediately.  If you are just staying for a meal, cards or a children's play date, you may not be there long enough to see.  But the more times you use the bathroom, eat in the kitchen, walk in and out of the front door, you do begin to see the places where the paint has chipped, the tile wasn't aligned right, or the hinges are coming loose.  This was so reassuring to me.  It made me feel like less of a schlub on many levels.  I realized that I notice the imperfections of my home because I'm in it so much, but others who come visit us don't necessarily notice all of them unless they are staying longer than a few hours.  And it helped me recognize that when I go to someone's house for just a few hours and I feel in such awe of their home, there is probably a lot of imperfection I'm just not noticing because I'm not there long enough to get a good look!

(2) I really enjoy our home being in tune with the elements outdoors.  Our hosts have some health issues such that they don't open their windows and the interior is always climate controlled.  I certainly appreciate that, but at our house we take a different approach, which I grew to really appreciate during our visit.  For many reasons, we try to use a/c and heat as sparingly as we can.  We open windows whenever possible.  In winter, we take advantage of passive solar during the day, we put on layers of thermal clothing, and sleep with lots of warm blankets at night.  In summer, we use curtains to block the sun, we have fans all over the house and we drink lots of cold beverages.  At times, it is a bit of a sacrifice to not use a/c and heat more.  But one thing I really like is that it helps us to be in tune with nature.  Previously when we used a/c and heat more liberally, we were literally and figuratively insulated from what was happening outside.  Now I realize I don't like that.   I like to hear the birds chirping outside.  I like to have the sun light up our home in cooler months.  I don't want to be so cool in my home that I'm shocked at the heat when I go outside. 

(3) Relationships are so important.  Traveling required us to take a break from homeschooling, church and our kids' sports.  I'm so task oriented, that makes me a bit nervous.  But taking time to be with my kids and to be with the family we visited is so important.  Relationships don't just happen.  They need time and attention.  It is good to do that.  Ultimately, it is the people in our lives who are most important anyhow.  And frankly, I just really enjoy getting to know people better--whether it is someone in my immediate family whom I see every day but don't have time to be silly with or someone I don't get to see on a regular basis.  People are interesting.  I like hearing their stories and struggles and interests and quirkiness.  It is fun and I learn a lot from them in various ways.

(4) Messes aren't the end of the world.  Ok, so I'm not into fancy home décor, but I'm rather mess averse.  One of my big triggers/stressors is when my kids or husband spill something or leaves crumbs.  Part of this is just that I have had trouble training my husband of nearly 20 years to clean up thoroughly and it has a trickle down effect with my kids.  That is the bane of my existence at times.   And I grew up in a densely populated urban area where any trace of food not cleaned up would exacerbate the bug problems our apartment complex was always fighting with fairly intense extermination sprayings.  But our hostess was so calm when kids spilled drinks at the dining room table or things got messy when we cooked together.  This helped everyone be happier and enjoy each other more.  I know I would not have been so gracious about spills and would likely have not even attempted cooking with a kitchen full of kids, which would have been a shame.  So, I don't know how long it will last, but I am going to try to be more laid back about messes.  Our hostess had no carpet, so I think that does make a difference.  Non-carpeted surfaces like in our home are easier to clean.  Nonetheless, I can try to be less uptight about messes.

Simpler Living, Compassionate Life: A Christian Perspective edited & compiled by Michael Schut (Part III: Random Passages That I Liked)

I am a reader.  I have earned several degrees, practiced a profession where reading was a mainstay, and then I spent the last part of my professional career as an academic where I read even more.  And on top of all those motivations, I also enjoy reading for pleasure. 

I've realized over the years that I'm a fairly kinesthetic learner.  I cannot just sit still and read.  To take in what I'm reading, I have to underline, highlight and/or make notes.  When I read a book or article, I like to flag what is most of interest to me and ideas I want to come back to. 

I took this approach when reading Simpler Living, Compassionate Life  for the first time years ago.  If you saw my copy of the book, it is marked up with a lot of yellow highlighting.

I am a fairly prolific highlighter, so I cannot share with you everything I flagged when reading the book.  But I'd like to share with you some passages that particularly got my attention and made an impression on me.  They are sort of a synopsis of not just this one particular book, but of the things that drew me to the concept of voluntary simplicity more generally.

My hope is that these random passages will whet your appetite and you'll read this amazing book as well.  In fact, I include page numbers so you can read these passage in their full context. 

And in doing so, maybe you'll find your own passages in the book that impact you in some meaningful way.  Enjoy!

p. 26 "Americans comprise only 5% of the world's population but consume 30% of its resources."

p. 27 "While voluntary poverty can be a beautiful offering of one's life, poverty itself can crush not only the body but the spirit as well."

p. 27 "Perhaps the prophetic word that simple living has to offer materialism centers around justice and freedom:  justice that can be lived through reduced consumption and more equitable distribution of the earth's finite resources, and acting justly toward the rest of creation:  freedom that allows each of us to move from life-draining acquisitiveness toward a joyful, generous spirit that recognizes the worth of all God's creatures."

p. 27  "But in our driven busyness we do not take time to listen.  We no longer know who we are and the 'still, small voice' is lost in the cacophony of voices urging us on to the next task.  Lacking the ability to listen and follow God's voice and our own inner direction, we become increasingly susceptible to the marketing of the good life.  We lose touch with the understanding that who we are is larger than simply what we do.  Into this hyper-productive life walks simplicity.  Simplicity requires us to slow down, to consider how our lives reflect who we are and what we value. . . If the abundant life is more than just consuming, it is also more than just producing."

p. 34 "There is no doubt that some purchases permanently enhance our lives.  But how much of what we consume merely keeps us moving on a stationary treadmill?  The problem with the treadmill is not only that it is stationary, but also that we have to work long hours to stay on it... the consumerist treadmill and long hour jobs have combined to form an insidious cycle of 'work-and-spend.'  Employers ask for long hours.  The pay creates a high level of consumption.  People buy houses and go into debt; luxuries become necessities; Smiths keep up with Joneses. . . Capitalism has brought a dramatically increased standard of living, but at the cost of a much more demanding worklife."

p. 35 "The juggling act between job and family is another problem area.  Half the population now says they have too little time for their families.  The problem is particularly acute for women: in one study, half of all employed mothers reported it caused either 'a lot' or an 'extreme' level of stress.  The same proportion feel that 'when I'm at home I try to make up to my family for being away at work, and as a result I rarely have any time for myself.'  This stress has placed tremendous burdens on marriages.  Two-earner couples have less time together, which researchers have found reduces the happiness and satisfaction of a marriage.  These couples often just don't have enough time to talk to each other."

p. 36 "Serious as these problems are, the most alarming development may be the effect of the work explosion on the care of children.  According to economist Sylvia Hewlett, 'child neglect has become endemic in our society.'  A major problem is that children are increasingly left alone, to fend for themselves while their parents are at work. . . Hewlett links the 'parenting deficit' to a variety of problems plaguing our country's youth: poor performance in school, mental problems, drug and alcohol use, and teen suicide.  According to another expert, kids are being 'cheated out of childhood. . . There is a sense that adults don't care about them."

p. 38 "In the past I read books that told me how to get more done during the day, how to find that extra hour so you could study French or learn photography.  I would try to do as many things as I could at one time.  Now I focus on doing less and slowing down.  I try to stop rushing, to practice mindfulness, to practice meditation.  I keep working at it, but still I have that nagging feeling--hurry, hurry."

p. 53 "Our hard and very urgent task is to realize that nature is not primarily a property to be possessed, but a gift to be received with admiration and gratitude.  How differently we would live if we always sensed that the nature around us is full of desire to tell us the great story of God's love, to which it points."

p. 67 "All of us struggle with the place of money in our lives.  There are no easy answers.  Yet whether rich or poor, by either American or global standards, money is surely one of our culture's most prevalent and powerful idols:  promising that which it cannot finally deliver."

p. 67 "Idolatry, whatever its object, represents the enshrinement of any other person or thing in the very place of God.  Idolatry embraces some person or thing, instead of God, as the source and rationalization of the moral significance of this life in the world for, at least, the idolater, though not, necessarily, for anybody else at all."

p. 75 "Now consider our economic system (the 'Big Economy,' Rasmussen, p. 111), the dominant global economy as it has developed in Western culture (and spread through the world).  Rather than a circle, we might envision a line.  At one end, capital, labor, and natural resources are input.  Along the way 'things' are produced, advertising creates a desire for those things, which we then consume.  Along the way, some people reap profits.  But, also along the way, a lot of waste is produced. . . The Big Economy hopes that the Great Economy will somehow assimilate all waste, a hope we now know is futile; the waste generated each year in the United States would fill a convoy of 10-ton garbage trucks 145,000 miles long--over halfway to the moon. . . All inputs (including capital and labor, which are also ultimately dependent on a healthy world) come from the Great Economy, and all wastes return to it.  Yet the Big Economy refers to its effects on the natural world as 'externalities;' that is, these effects are not taken into account within our monetary economy.  Examples of externalities include water pollution, soil erosion, ozone depletion and toxic waste. . . These externalities profoundly affect people and places--in our own backyards and around the world. . . Although economic status plays an important role in the location of toxic waste sites, race is the leading factor."

p. 78 "Worldwide, 40,000 children die of hunger-related disease or malnutrition every day.  If we Americans ate 10 percent less meat (it takes 12 pounds of grain to produce one pound of red meat), enough grain would be saved to more than feed those children (Robbins and Patton, May All Be Fed, chapter 2)."

p. 83 "Adam Smith did not write as a Calvinist theologian, but his view of the human being is not far removed from that of many Scottish Calvinist of his day.  They, too, were suspicious of expecting too much from human sympathy or love.  They recognized with Smith that most people's actions were basically selfish."

p. 88 " We have learned not to impose simple ideals naively on complex situations but to analyze them thoroughly and then find ways to move toward Christian goals within them. . . In our opposition to individualism and to nationalism, we affirm that we as individuals need one another and that nations, too, need one another, as we all need God."

p. 91 "American children under the age of 13 have more spending money--$230 a year--than the 300 million poorest people in the world."

p. 91 "The richest billion people in the world have created a form of civilization so acquisitive and profligate that the planet is in danger.  The lifestyle of this top echelon--the car drivers, beef eaters, soda drinkers, and throwaway consumers--constitutes an ecological threat unmatched in severity by anything but perhaps population growth. . .  Ironically, abundance has not even made people terribly happy.  In the United States, repeated opinion polls of people's sense of well-being show that no more Americans are satisfied with their lot now than they were in 1957.  Despite phenomenal growth in consumption, the list of wants has grown faster still.  Of course, the other extreme from overconsumption--poverty--is not solution to environmental or human problems:  it is infinitely worse for people and equally bad for the environment.  Dispossessed peasants slash-and-burn their way into the rain forests of Latin America, and hungry nomads turn their herds out onto fragile African rangeland, reducing it to desert.  If environmental decline results when people have either too little or too much, we must ask ourselves:  How much is enough?"

p. 97  "The basic value of a sustainable society, the ecological equivalent of the Golden Rule, is simple:  Each generation should meet its needs without jeopardizing the prospects of future generations."

p. 100 "It was not just the greed of corporate shareholders and the hubris of corporate executives that put the fate of Prince William Sound into one ship; it was also our demand that energy should be cheap and plentiful."

p. 119 "To live eschatologically in this sense is not simply to enjoy hopeful images from time to time.  The hope for the Kingdom freed early Christians from concern for success or security in the present order. . . When God is understood as omnipotent, Christians have an assureance of ultimate success for their causes regardless of the most immediate outcome of the efforts.  But, today, we do not perceive God as forcing divine decisions upon the world."

p. 127 "One of the most often-mentioned ways to provide more work is to reduce the work week and spread jobs around.  This can be done in a way that both employees and employers benefit.  For instance, some companies find that people will accept a lower salary if their hourly wage goes up.  Since productivity tends to rise when people work shorter hours, both the people and the company would benefit:  there would be higher productivity for the company and a higher hourly wage for the people."

p. 133 "The aim of sufficiency is that everyone shall have enough of the things that are needed for a reasonably secure and fulfilling life. . . We are concerned first about basic needs: pure water, food and nutrition, clothing, shelter, health care, literacy and some kind of meaningful work to do. . . Individuals do not have identical requirements and likings in order to be happy.  But what any one person may include in the idea of what is sufficient for himself or herself is necessarily limited by the ideas of others about their sufficiency and the recognition that some minimal sufficiency for everyone takes precedence--whenever a choice is necessary--over anyone's right to enjoy a surplus."

p. 137 "Consumerism itself is the substitute, a most unsatisfactory, through addictive, substitute for that which makes human life meaningful and fulfilling--loving, caring relationships with one another, in which we accept and affirm our dependence on one another, and all the ways in which we may free each other for everything true and good and creative that each of us has in himself or herself to be or to become.  In short, consumerism is a substitute for community.  The abundance to which Jesus pointed was explicitly not the abundance of possessions.  It was the abundance of the restored relationship, the God-relationship.  It was the freedom to enjoy the community--the giving-and-receiving relationship with one another--for which we were created."

p. 146 "The radical critics of capitalism and promoters of Spartan rusticity among the advocates of the simple life would be well advised to acknowledge that material progress and urban life can frequently be compatible with spiritual, moral, or intellectual concerns."

p. 147 "Simplicity in its essence demands neither a vow of poverty nor a life of rural homesteading.  As an ethic of self-conscious material moderation, it can be practiced in cities and suburbs, townhouses and condominiums.  It requires neither a log cabin nor a hairshirt but a deliberate ordering of priorities so as to distinguish between the necessary and superfluous, useful and wasteful, beautiful and vulgar."

p. 148 "One of Gandhi's American friends once confessed to the Indian leader that it was easy and liberating for him to discard most of the superfluous clutter in his life and his household, but he could not part with his large collection of books.  'Then don't give them up,' Gandhi replied.  'As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, you should keep it.  If you were to give it up in a mood of self-sacrifice or out of a sense of duty, you would continue to want it back, and that unsatisfied want would make trouble for you.'  This means that simplicity is indeed more a state of mind than a particular standard of living."

p. 155 "Our freedom from sin allows us to serve others.  Before, all our serving was for our benefit, a means to somehow get right with God.  Only because the grace of God has been showered upon us are we enabled to give that same grace to others."

p. 167 "Consumption patterns of the 'Northern' countries and the 'Western' countries are obscene by global standards, yet there is no apparent end in sight to the guttony. . .Nevertheless, the underlying economic logic of an economy based on unlimited growth remains largely unchallenged in public discourse. . . The reasons for this have as much to do with arguments about social justice as they do with shameless consumerism. After all, growth has become the only means that late capitalism has devised to cope with the increasingly evident problem of inequity."

p. 182 "We are trapped in a maze of competing attachments.  One moment we make decisions on the basis of sound reason and the next moment out of fear of what others will think of us.  We have no unity or focus around which our lives are oriented.  Because we lack a divine Center our need for security has led us into an insance attachment to things.  We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic.  It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality.  We crave things we neither need nor enjoy.  'We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like.'  Where planned obsolescence leaves off, psychological obsolescence takes over.  We are made to feel ashamed to wear clothes or drive cars until they are worn out. . . Hoarding we call prudence."

Simply Sunday #4

Hello and happy Sunday! 

Sometimes--perhaps many times--more is not more.  Actually less can be more.  At least with the right attitude.

So, with that in mind, here is one thing I did this week in my on-going journey to simplify life:  I watched the rain. 

Yes, it rained this week!  In our part of the country, this is a rarity. 

And the rain was such a beautiful rain.  It was not the sudden, violent kind we often get that blows trees, outdoor furniture and toys all over the place. 

But it was also not that anemic sort of rain that we get sometimes that is teasingly disappointing.  The kind where we get all excited that rain is coming, but then only a few drops actually fall. 

This week we got a steady, soaking rain.  No intense winds.  It cooled everything down for a while.  Gave our few plants a good drink.  And made little temporary rivers in our backyard along the paths where our doggies tend to run to get to the side gate.

The whole thing was so exquisite that I pushed back the blinds and curtains to just stare at it for a while. My kids were excited too.  They watched with me for a bit, but they are too frenetic to stay put for long.  Eventually I pulled up a kitchen chair, opened the sliding glass door to our backyard and closed the screen to just take it all in. 

To understand why this was a big deal, you should know I am a real Type A sort of person.  I am not good at that contemplative, quiet stuff.  Nonetheless, I tried to be mindful of all I was experiencing to really enjoy the moment.

I sat down on my kitchen chair, and was just amazed by the whole event.  The breeze felt so refreshing on my skin.  The cool dampness smelled lovely.  Very wholesome and earthy.

I looked around at all I saw from my perch inside my kitchen by the screen.  The poor crickets were freaking out, hopping to the refuge of our small concrete patio.  The river rocks that pave our backyard were so lovely as they glistened from their bath. 

Our back neighbors' huge palm trees were swaying in the breeze.  It was funny because at one point, a single palm tree was swaying pretty intensely while the others were almost still.  I'm assuming a micro-gust caught the swaying one.  It was strange to watch.

The sky was gray, but it wasn't a depressing shade.  I grew up in a part of the country where there is a lot of rain, where the sky was often overcast and made everything look sad.  The gray sky during the rain this week was not a dark color, it was light and almost cheery.  It was optimistic.

What a glorious rain!

Simply Sunday #1

Hi!  Happy Sunday!

I'm going to start a tradition that I'll call "Simply Sundays."  Every Sunday, I'm going to try to set aside a bit of time to just reflect back on the week--particularly the things I did (or didn't do) in an effort to simplify my life and that of my family.

To be honest, I had mixed emotions about this brainstorm initially.  Because of my professional life, I've become such a goal-oriented, Type A personality over the years.  Lists can kind of feed that tendency, and discourage me from simplifying. 

We also live in a culture of lists that are given more significance than they actually deserve.  ...It's midnight but I can't go to sleep yet because I haven't crossed off everything on my list.  Your school is #25 on the list, mine didn't even make it, so I'm a loser by comparison.  I'm ranked higher on the list than the guy in the next office; I get a bonus and he gets canned.

With all that, I'm a little wary of lists at times. But still, I'm going to give this tradition a try.  If I don't like how it is going after a while, I'll discontinue.  No prob. 

Right now, however, I do think there can be value in taking a step back to reflect on the week.  It can be insightful and encouraging to remember ways in which voluntary simplicity was integrated into the days that have just past.  After all, the point of this blog is to memorialize the journey as I try to embrace voluntary simplicity in a greater way.

Here goes...

This week my daughters and I were coming home from the grocery store when a voice from the back seat spotted a butterfly.  I pulled the car over in a safe place and we just watched it for a while.  How beautiful!  So fragile.  So precious.  We didn't literally stop to smell the roses.  (We didn't see any.)  But we did it figuratively.

As I'm winding down my responsibilities with my paid gig, there was an unexpected and very frustrating delay that was beyond my control.  This caused a bunch of headaches for me and normally it would have stressed me out a heck of a lot.  But I took it in stride, even put it out of my mind for the most part.  I went about my business without dwelling on the situation.  The quality of my week was greatly improved as a result.

In the middle of the week, I took time out to help my older daughter make her first cake.  I didn't rush the process or fuss when she made a mess.  I just encouraged her and was present to give her guidance.  She was very proud of herself at the end.  We all gave her a round of applause for a delicious dessert.  She seemed to enjoy the kudos.

Later the same day, my younger daughter asked me to color with her.  And I did!  We sat on the floor, plopped the coloring book on the coffee table, and colored with much contentment.  However, I admit I was a little too fast.  I have to remember it is about the journey, not the destination.  Especially when crayons are involved.  It is not a race to see who finished their picture first.  And it doesn't matter if the leaves are fuchsia. 

One more!  I tried out a new vegetarian recipe: carrot soufflé.  It sounds harder than it actually was.  Pretty simple, pretty frugal.  Quite yummy and beautiful!  A hit with the whole family.

Enjoy your Sunday!